Being Okay in a Not-Okay World

How the last 25 years (and the internet) rewired our psychology — and why mental health is still possible

Imagine:

No smartphones. No “seen” on messages. No Instagram, TikTok, Discord.

News comes from TV once or twice a day, not every three minutes in notifications.

If you’re sad or anxious, you don’t google symptoms, you just… hope it passes.

Or you’re told to “pull yourself together”.

That was roughly 25 years ago.

In those same 25 years, the internet has turned into a second planet where we live, study, fall in love, panic, cancel, confess, and overshare. Our psychology didn’t stay the same — it adapted, broke, recovered, and learned a whole new language.

This is a story about what changed in how we think about mental health, how the internet helped and hurt, and why being “mentally healthy” today does not mean “never anxious, never sad, always productive”.

Spoiler: you’re probably more normal than you think.

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1. Twenty-five years ago: “Don’t talk about it”

In the early 2000s, mental health in many families looked like this:

• Depression = “laziness” or “you’re just dramatic”.

• Anxiety = “stop overthinking”.

• Going to a psychologist = “are you crazy?” or “we’re not that kind of family”.

• Panic attacks, ADHD, autism, bipolar disorder — words you might vaguely hear on TV, not something you’d calmly discuss at dinner.

Psychology existed, of course. Therapy existed. Antidepressants existed.

But they were somewhere far away in “adult medicine land”, not in everyday teenage vocabulary.

If you felt mentally awful, the main options were:

1. Ignore it and hope it goes away.

2. Complain only about physical symptoms (“my stomach hurts all the time”, “my head is killing me”).

3. Break down so hard that adults finally notice and drag you to a specialist.

Soft, early help — “something feels off, let me talk to someone” — was rare.

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2. Enter the internet: a giant group chat for the human brain

The internet didn’t just bring memes and cat videos.

It changed three huge things about our mental life.

2.1. We got a new dictionary for feelings

On social media, people began posting things that would have never appeared in a school corridor in 2002:

“My anxiety is screaming today.”

“Finally started therapy.”

“I think I might be neurodivergent.”

“Trigger warning: self-harm discussion.”

We got a new vocabulary: anxiety, burnout, boundaries, triggers, toxic, trauma, attachment style, dissociation.

Mental health literacy — understanding what depression, anxiety, trauma are — went up.

Acceptance of professional help became more normal.

At the same time, attitudes towards people with serious mental illness (like schizophrenia) improved much more slowly. The internet helped us talk about “I’m anxious” and “I’m burnt out”, but real stigma hasn’t magically evaporated.

2.2. Therapy moved from offices to screens

In the early 2000s, therapy meant: go somewhere, sit in a room, maybe on a couch, talk for 50 minutes.

Now?

• Video sessions.

• Text-based therapy.

• Apps with CBT exercises.

• Whole clinics offering teletherapy as a standard option.

For teenagers, this means:

you might never step into a physical clinic, but still get to talk to a real therapist from your room — wearing pyjamas, with a mug of tea, cat included.

2.3. We started publicly dissecting our own brains

The internet turned private internal monologues into content:

• Long threads like “How I realised my childhood was traumatic”.

• Videos of people showing their panic attack coping routines.

• Accounts where psychologists explain ADHD, borderline, OCD, eating disorders — in carousels and Reels.

This public dissection did two things at once:

1. De-normalised silence. You see that you’re not the only one who can’t get out of bed or who overthinks every text message. That’s huge.

2. Created a “diagnosis aesthetic”. It became kind of cool to be “broken but self-aware”: sad playlists, “my depression era”, “my toxic trait is…”. Sometimes this deepens understanding. Sometimes it turns real illnesses into personality accessories.

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3. The internet as both therapist and villain

Any story about mental health and the internet is a story of contradictions.

3.1. How the internet helps

• Community. Queer kids, neurodivergent teens, people with rare diagnoses or simply “too sensitive” ones can find others like them. That’s not a small thing; it can literally save lives.

• Openness. Social media has made it easier for young people to talk about their mental health problems, which helps reduce stigma and pushes more people to seek help.

• Information. Psychoeducation — threads, videos, explainers — means you can understand your panic attack is not a heart attack, and that “being tired all the time and not enjoying anything” might be depression, not laziness.

3.2. How the internet hurts

The same system that supports you can also crush you.

• Endless comparison. Social media makes it look like everyone else’s life is prettier, more productive, more interesting. Your brain is not built to compare itself to thousands of people every single day.

• Doomscrolling. A constant stream of wars, disasters, scandals, climate news, political fights. Your nervous system reads all of this as personal danger, even if you’re physically just in your room.

• Cyberbullying. Harassment doesn’t stop when you go home from school; it lives in your notifications. For many teens, online bullying is tightly linked to anxiety, depression, and self-harm thoughts.

• Screen overload. Being “almost constantly online” is now common. For a lot of people, heavy, compulsive social media use is associated with lower wellbeing, more stress and more risky behaviour.

Internet for your brain is like coffee for your body:

a little can wake you up; too much at 2 a.m. and your hands are shaking.

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4. So what does “mentally healthy” even mean now?

Here is the uncomfortable truth:

If you feel anxious, sad, overwhelmed or lost in 2025, it does not automatically mean you are “mentally ill”.

It also does not mean that everything is fine and you should “just cope”.

We have to update the myth of mental health.

Myth 1: “Mentally healthy means happy all the time”

No.

In a world with pandemics, climate change, wars, unstable economies, and everyone’s opinions screaming at you 24/7…

a constantly happy, unbothered person would be either enlightened or deeply disconnected.

Being mentally healthy today looks more like this:

• You can notice your emotions instead of permanently switching them off.

• You have at least one person you can be honest with.

• You can ask for help — not only when everything has already collapsed.

• You are mostly able to return to studying, hobbies, people, even after difficult days.

• You accept that sometimes you’ll need professional support.

Myth 2: “If I feel bad, it means I’m broken forever”

In many countries, people are using psychological and psychiatric help more than before.

This is not because “your generation is weaker”.

It’s because:

• We recognise suffering better.

• Help has become more accessible (including online).

• There is less taboo around saying “I’m not okay”.

Just like you go to an orthodontist if your teeth are crooked, you can go to a psychologist if something in your internal world is blocking your life.

It’s not a life sentence. It’s maintenance and repair.

Myth 3: “If I have a diagnosis, I can’t be ‘healthy’ anymore”

A diagnosis is a description of how your mind is struggling, not a label that you are a “defective person”.

Many people with depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, autism, ADHD:

• study, work, fall in love, make friends;

• go to therapy, take medication, learn self-regulation;

• have periods of remission and periods of flare-ups.

Being “mentally healthy” in 2025 is not “having zero diagnoses”.

It is “having tools and support to live your life, even if your brain is sometimes difficult”.

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5. How exactly the internet changed our attitude to the psyche

Let’s summarise it as a comparative table in words.

Then (around the 2000s):

• Words like “depression” and “panic attack” were scary insults, not everyday conversation.

• Psychologists were seen as luxury or shame or both.

• Information about the psyche came from textbooks, doctors and the occasional TV show.

• A teenager with anxiety or suicidal thoughts often believed they were completely alone.

Now (the 2020s):

• Language. Words like “depression, anxiety, burnout, boundaries, triggers, toxic” are part of everyday speech.

• Normalisation of help. More people are ready to recommend professional help to friends instead of “just toughen up”.

• Scale. Many more people receive some form of help: medication, psychotherapy, online consultations.

• Internet communities. There are whole spaces where it’s normal to talk about mood disorders, PTSD, autism.

• Shadow side. Along with this, anxiety, sleep problems, eating disorders, FOMO and loneliness are also rising.

In short:

The internet has both removed some stigma and added a lot of triggers.

It made the psyche visible. And overloaded it.

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6. A small checklist: you might be doing better than you think

Answer for yourself, quietly. No one else has to see this.

1. Is there anyone in my life I don’t have to pretend with?

   Even one adult or one friend already counts.

2. Do I sleep at least roughly 7–8 hours on at least some nights?

   Chronic sleep deprivation can make any brain feel “broken”.

3. Are there things I genuinely enjoy?

   Things I do not for likes, marks or points, but because I want to.

4. Can I tell the difference between “I’m having a hard time” and “I need help”?

   If not, that’s not a failure — that’s a sign you could use some guidance.

If some of your answers are “yes”, you’re not at zero.

You have starting points.

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7. When it is important to seek professional help

The internet can suggest what might be going on with you, but it cannot diagnose or treat you.

It’s important to talk to a psychologist, psychiatrist or another mental health professional if:

• Your state interferes with daily life for more than about two weeks: you can’t study, leave the house, or talk to people.

• Sleep, appetite, energy change drastically, and it’s not clearly linked to something like exams or flu.

• You often think about death, self-harm, or “disappearing”, even if you “don’t plan to do anything”.

• Anxiety or sadness feel endless and without reason.

• You notice intrusive thoughts or rituals that take a lot of time and energy.

If you’re a teenager, this can feel terrifying: “What will my parents say? What if they don’t understand?”

One possible first step:

1. Write a short message to an adult (parent, teacher, school counsellor):

   “I’m struggling mentally right now. I can’t cope alone anymore.

   It’s important for me to talk to a professional.”

2. If the adults around you ignore this or laugh it off, look for other adults and resources:

   • school / university psychologist;

   • crisis lines and online chats in your country;

   • trusted mental health websites and organisations.

Asking for help is not a “weakness of your generation”.

It’s a survival skill in an overloaded world.

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8. How to live with the internet and (almost) stay sane

We’re not going back to a world without smartphones — and we don’t have to.

Instead, we can treat the internet like a strong medicine:

helpful in the right dose, toxic in overdose.

A few real, not perfect steps

1. Instead of “less internet”, try “a bit more offline”.

   You don’t have to delete everything. Try adding 30–60 minutes a day when you:

   • walk without your phone;

   • do something with your hands;

   • see a person in real life.

2. Unfollow “after this I feel worse” accounts.

   If every time you watch certain stories you feel dumber, uglier, poorer, less lovable — that’s a reason to unfollow, not to “become better”.

3. Have specific news time.

   Better 1–2 times a day from reliable sources than a constant drip of panic.

4. Use the internet as a tool, not only as a distraction.

   • save articles about mental health from trustworthy sources;

   • watch lectures and Q&As from qualified psychologists, not just storytimes;

   • know where to find crisis support.

5. Don’t self-diagnose purely from TikTok.

   A video “5 signs you definitely have ADHD” is not a diagnosis.

   But if you recognise yourself in many of these videos, that is a good reason to talk to a professional.

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9. So… can you be mentally healthy today?

Yes.

But being mentally healthy today is not a final achievement like a medal.

It’s a process of tuning.

• The world is anxious, but you have ways to calm yourself down.

• The internet is loud, but you have a volume knob (subscriptions, modes, notifications).

• Your inner voice can be cruel, but you are learning to talk back to it differently.

• You know you have a right to help — online and offline.

You might have a diagnosis. Maybe several.

You might have none, and still go through crises, losses, fears.

None of that cancels this:

You can still be a living, loving, feeling person who slowly learns how to exist in an age of too much speed and too much information.

The world has become more complicated and louder.

That doesn’t mean you are broken.

It means you need new skills — and a bit more gentleness toward yourself than people needed twenty-five years ago.